Wednesday, February 22, 2012

In What World???

Dear Smash,

In what world does the shit that goes down on this show actually occur?

1. Every theatre person in New York got on their twitter and screamed, " 'HE'S DOING THAT BRUNO MARS SHOW AT LAMAMA'...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"  Bravo for having the audacity to put the words Bruno Mars and LaMaMa together in one sentence.  I can't wait to check in with Liz Swados and see how her new Katy Perry musical is shaping up.  (Also, this "Bruno Mars Musical" looked strangely like the sequel to a little show called "American Idiot").

2. How many times can they use karaoke as a plot device to get Katherine McSleepy to sing?  AT A BABY SHOWER NO LESS.  If I attend your baby shower and then sing "Red Neck Woman" you have permission to punch me in the face.

3. "I'm worried about money," McSleepy laments as she lounges in her massive bedroom that is straight out of an Anthropologie catalogue.

4. THE ASSISTANT IS STRAIGHT.  THE ASSISTANT IS STRAIGHT.  I can't even find the words to express my confusion.  Either that actor is supremely confused about his character or there is going to be a thrilling plot twist later.  Maybe he and Nick Jonas hook up.  Crossies.
Also, he's just too tricky.  I don't like it one bit.  I hope there's an upcoming episode where Patti Lupone trips him and breaks both of his legs.

Additional Notes

  • So glad to see Nessa Rose got out of her chair.  
  • Possibly one of my favorite moments was this sequence apparently trying to show us how deeply involved their affair was:

Silence...elevator dings
Will Chase: You smell good
Deb "Put it in your mix" Messing: Slowly loses eyes and passionately sulks into the elevator (Can you passionately sulk? Is that a thing?  Kudos Deb) DRAMAAAAAAAA

All I ask is that someone please help out Katherine McPhee.  Make that girl take a nap.  You clearly are keeping her up past her bedtime.

Gossip Squirrel


Monday, February 13, 2012


Here's the deal.  I liked Smash.  I'll watch it every week.  I'll cry when the director comes between McPhee and her hottie boyfriend.  I'll be "shocked" when Christian Borle and his assistant get it on.  However, I'm a little stuck.  I just don't believe the central issue of the show.  Megan Hilty versus Katherine "please let me take a nap" McPhee.  THERE IS NO QUESTION TO BE ANSWERED.  I'm no casting director, but you can hire me at Telsey tomorrow if you can't figure this one out.

One of my favorite parts of the episode is the final song battle at the end.  Megan Hilty is practically having an aneurysm she wants the part so bad.  Katherine McPhee is pretty much giving me the inner monologue of, "I guess I want it...If you want me to...I don't know...I'm just so sleepy."  SO SLEEPY.

Please watch the number and note how Katherine actually falls asleep at the very end.  GET HER SOME CAFFEINE PEOPLE.  And don't even get me started on her rendition of "Beautiful."  I feel so sorry for the random casting directors of "Guys and Dolls" and "How to Succeed..." across America who are going to hear thousands of inappropriate renditions of this.  Also, TREE ARMS.  What is with her weird tree arms?  Maybe she didn't realize as her eyes were closed about 90% of the song. (I will admit Megan Hilty does close her eyes too, but it's more of a Lea Michele I'm being super emotional tactic as opposed to narcolepsy.  Though I still hate when anyone closes their eyes when singing).  

Also, is McPhee's character equity?  How did she get this audition?  Does she have an agent?  Where did she do summer stock?  Give me some backstory people.  The sad non-equity actor inside me is freaking out.

That's enough hatin' for now.  I'm going to go watch "Let Me Be Your Star" 25 more times.  IT'S LIKE A DRUG. A delicious high belting drug.