Sunday, November 4, 2012

Sundays with Craig: SPECIAL EDITION PART 1

As the general population knows, I am fascinated by craiglist.  I troll the personals section with regularity looking for that special someone whose terrible grammar or disgusting metaphors warrant a copy and paste into a file on my computer labeled “Craigslist Horrors”  (This is located directly next to “OkCupid Terrors”).  Hurricane Sandy blew in and what else was I to do but search the interwebz for my dream lover.  I figured some lonely creatures would be looking for comfort whilst stuck inside their apartments.  While my roommates and I did find a few that tickled our fancy, the postings simply weren’t creative enough for our liking.  What do you do when life gives you lemons?  You make lemonade AND write your own craigslist ad.  TAKING MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS.  MAKING LIFE HAPPEN.  
Here it is in all its glory:
Sandy makes us randy - 22 (Upper East Side)
Date: 2012-10-29, 4:57PM EDT

We've already exhausted all our rations, but there's one thing we forgot to pick up at CVS. Some high grade beef. Could that be you?

4 college educated, CA girls looking for a bit of excitement to break the boredom of waiting out this hurricane.

Will you come protect us from these wild winds?
Will you whisper comforting words as we shiver with fear?

Trying to stay out of the rain, but don't mind getting a little wet.

pics please. bring some sunshine to our dreary day.

Here is the actual link so you know I am for realz:

I figured we would get a few emails.  Maybe 10 tops. 

I received over 100 emails. 

I am still getting them. 

Someone emailed me mere moments ago asking if “the party was still going.”    

I have probably over 25 dick pics sitting in my inbox.  I will do a count to get exact statistics but I am still recovering from seeing them all the first time.  

**Please feel free to send me an email if you are interested.  The party is indeed still going.  It never stops.  I’ll respond right away.  Unless you send me a dick pic, which in that case I’ll run around the apartment screaming.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I will post some of the "responses" we received.  At least now I know that Upper Manhattan is full of normal looking people who are actually BANANAGRAMS and when a guy hits on you in a bar he is secretly sending an email on his phone to what he believes to be a CA GURL ORGY DREAMLAND.