Dear Chasidish Murderer,
I have a lot of questions for you.
1) Are you Chasidic or just Chasid-ish?
2) Are you in the country meaning USA or the country a la a weekend in the country a la A Little Night Music (I LOVE THEATRE! SO WHAT??? I'm so Aaron Sorkin right now)
3) Are you going to murder me?
Oh wait I can answer that for myself. Yes, definitely yes.
Dear Virgin Guy,
I've been encountering fake virgins all over the city, but finally a real one! HOW CAN YOU PROVE IT? Please email me a copy of your Virgin license.
It doesn't matter really, because unfortunately, I'm just a regular girl lacking any special skills. I hope you find a hebrew/russian speaking, salsa queen virgin that can make your clearly very specific dreams come true!
Someone with experience in many areas and common sense? Huzzah! Hello Papa!
Your future daughter/sex slave