Wednesday, January 8, 2014

OkCupid Weekly Roundup

Here are the best (WORST) messages (NIGHTMARES) I received (WAS ASSAULTED BY) this week: 

lkjlkjioijoi
hi you're hot. want to meet for drink now, with the intention of sex? I'm handsome, smart, etc. etc.(If this is something your interested in, I'll reply with pictures of course) I'm 30, white, and jewish

striper111
Hi 
Do you enjoy foot massages?

ketchup85
You're adorable, so adorable in fact that I've decided I'm going 
to adopt you as my new little sister! Don't worry, we'll spend all our time 
climbing trees and drinking kool-aid. Actually you seem like a cool person, 
I'd love to get together sometime and 
let you cook for me haha.. Wait! You're not crazy, are you!?

Here's some sweet convos I had with a few of my potential life partners:  


The thing is, he is still messaging me and I cannot tell if he is kidding.  His profile says this: 


But it also says this: 





I really set myself up for this one: 
Is it so wrong to think that I thought maybe he would write back, "good ramen" or "delicious overpriced cocktails?"  You cannot put a picture of you with your grandma and mention kinky sex.  Those are the rules.  


And finally, the piece de resistance.  I give you, GurkMises. 

Sorry ladies, he is off the market.  Feel free to Skype him though.  

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